Why Rudy Giuliani Will Be the Next President

His sex scandals are just too delicious!

Rudy Giuliani has lately been getting some long-overdue criticism for his missteps both before and after 9/11. For example, The Village Voice reports that he insisted that the city’s emergency command center — which included a personal suite with its own elevator that he visited “often, even on weekends, bringing his girlfriend Judi Nathan there long before the relationship surfaced” — be within walking distance of City Hall. This led to the disastrous decision to locate the center in the World Trade Center, an obvious potential terrorist target.

Rudy wanted the emergency command center close to City Hall so he could DO IT WITH HIS MISTRESS.