Donald Rumsfeld Is Trying to Wrest the Title of Creepiest ex-Bush Administration Official Away from Dick Cheney

Seriously.

Stewart also showed footage of former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld from Errol Morris’ documentary The Unknown Known in which Rumsfeld parries a question about memos related to torture, blames the memos entirely on the Justice Department, then congratulates himself for, in his mind, stumping the questioner.

“Look how f*cking proud he is of having put a lot of different words in between ‘Bush administration’ and ‘torture,’ while not, in any explicit way, changing the meaning of those words or refuting the charge,” Stewart said, pointing to a picture of a smiling Rumsfeld. “But as long as you’re happy, I’m happy. And I assume that is happiness, and not his teeth trying desperately to escape his face.”

And note, Rumsfeld is 82, but looks pretty damn good for that age.  Maybe he's the one really staying alive by drinking the blood of Iraqi children.